Holly Miller shares her testimony of releasing her fears to God.
I was smack dab in the middle of life with littles. Legos and laundry. Dishes and dolls. Hugs and homeschooling. Life was full and fulfilling.
Life Throws Us Cancer
My husband and I were pastoring a small church. Caring for this small flock was our God-given joy and responsibility. It was in the middle of these years that a dear lady from our congregation was diagnosed with cancer.
I was a young inexperienced pastor’s wife without specific training for counseling people caught in the middle of life’s tragedies. Yet I was the one chosen for this task.
I listened as this dear one poured out her fears. I remember telling her that God had walked before her, and He was already there in the future she was facing.
Fears of the Unknown
However, as I left the church building that evening a fear of the unknown in my own life swept over me. In fact, the tentacles of fear threatened to strangle me as my thoughts ran rampant with the “what ifs” of life.
Over the next weeks I did my best to encourage and be there for this cancer patient. Amid my role of caring for another, I fought my own battle with fear of cancer in my future. I feared I might die and leave my children without a mother. My mind spun out scenarios in their lives without me that made my spirit shudder. I ran through the milestones in their life and pictured how I wouldn’t be there to rejoice with them.
I faced long sleepless nights as forebodings and fear of the future ravaged my heart. Nevertheless, God was faithful. It was here in this dark place that God taught me how to begin releasing my fears to Him.
I began to search the Scriptures, wanting to know this God I served on a deeper level. I longed to be able to trust Him even in the darkness. As I took a deep dive into the knowledge of who God was my anemic faith began to strengthen. God’s changeless nature became an anchor point for my heart.
“For I am the Lord, I change not;” Malachi 3:6 KJV
Trusting in the Lord
To know Him is to trust Him. It is in knowing who God is that our faith can take wings.
His Omnipotence makes one recognize that nothing is outside of God’s power. God’s Omniscience reminds us that His wisdom far exceeds our understanding. The Omnipresence of God comforts the heartbroken in the darkness. When we contemplate the vastness of God’s love for us, we can confidently rest in His arms.
When I infused my heart with the goodness of God and His steadfast love for me, I was able to begin, albeit slowly, to release my fears to God. Ultimately, I had to place my future with all its unknowns, as well as my children into the hands of the All-knowing and Sovereign God.
God Provides Us Wisdom
I not only grew in my understanding of God, but I personally encountered Him as He stepped into my situation and showed me how to apply His wisdom to my life.
Our Thoughts & Focus
I had to choose what I allowed to capture my thoughts and focus. This looked like deflecting the bombardment of fear of the unknown and reminding myself of who God is even in the middle of the dark.
Dear friend, if you are struggling with fear of the unknown, seek to know God. Not seeking knowledge for mere information’s sake, but a transformative knowledge of God that will change your days. Learn to live into the awareness of who God is. In truly knowing God, you will find that you will be able to trust God with your dearest dreams, your unknown future, as well as your beloved family.
As the years have come and gone, I recognize more fully the process found within surrendering fears to God. Spiritual maturity has shown me that freedom is found in truly knowing God while simultaneously releasing everything into God’s control.
Fear Pops Up Occasionally
Less than two years ago, I found myself under the surgeon’s knife as a lump was removed from my neck. My heart was cloaked with peace instead of strangling fear. Through the transforming knowledge of God, I was able to release the unknown into God’s hands.
Lord is Here
God delights in showing steadfast love and justice. Consequently, as this knowledge embeds itself into our soul, we can live with open hands in God’s direction.
Here are a few samples of Scripture that can begin your journey toward a transforming knowledge of God. A knowledge that leads to surrender.
Psalm 103; Jeremiah 9:23-24; John 17:3; Ephesians 1:18-19; Colossians 1:9-10
Meet Holly Miller
Holly Miller is a transplanted Pennsylvania girl living in Indiana. She loves Jesus and family. Bible studies, deep conversations, hot coffee and travel are at the top of her favorites list.
Holly is a big believer in expecting God to show up in the middle of the mess. Why? Because she’s been there when the struggle to believe through the darkness was all too real. And then God showed up. Again, and again.
You can find encouragement through her writings at https://soulstillness.com/ or visit her social media at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/soulstillness
Want to Share Your Story?
Several times a week, I get asked about the series. People are curious. We all have a story to tell, if you feel God nudging you to tell your story, send it in. We would love to hear from you. Each time I post to this series, I feel the words on the page. I feel the person’s hurt and redemption in their story. These testimonies, stories, poems have brought healing to others and helped others to know they aren’t alone. If you are interested in sharing your story, check out the writer’s guidelines.
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