Are You Grateful for Where You Come From?

For November, I’m featuring a small three-week series about being thankful for our past, present, and future. I hope that you will join me as I start with a writing challenge this month, Thanksgiving through Psalms.

Don’t worry if you didn’t start last week, join in this week.

November seems to be when we talk about gratitude the most. It’s hard sometimes to find the joy in the moment, especially when storms arise. When we are in those hard seasons of life, words of gratitude don’t seem to be on our lips.

Recently a friend and I were discussing things going on in our lives, the struggles, the real things that we were facing. She was facing different dilemmas in her life with her kids, she was in the terrific threes whereas I am in the feisty fifteens. She looked at me and asked, “Would you change your past if you could?” 

My immediate response is no, I wouldn’t change where I’ve been. I see a prodigal girl running to things other than God, constantly pursuing things, only to not find what she was missing in life and constantly looking for a missing piece to the puzzle. My college years were hard between living away from home and figuring out how to be an adult (I was never truly on my own, thanks to my parents and their generosity). 

I was driven by people pleasing, so making rules for myself and pursuing success only fueled this need to please the people in my life. I dated people that I thought I would marry only to be left more confused with a few more battle scars than when I started. I sought after something more each time. 

I remember sitting in my studio apartment in college, the 500 square foot place was cozy, and I had my homework on the desk with my Bible laid on top of it. I was trying to figure out what it was that I was missing. 

I would look at the different passages that I tried highlighting and memorizing, some of the passages just confused me more. I would attend church services but that didn’t seem to keep me fueled through the whole week. I was always depleted before the next Sunday rolled around.  I surrounded myself with like-minded girls, but due to a middle school incident of rejection, the insecurities always were there. I kept everyone at arms-length, the less they knew the real me, the more that they would like me. Remember, I wanted to please them. I wanted to be liked and loved.

My past shaped me into the woman I am today. My past shaped me into the wife and mother I am today. People that crossed my path, became part of my story. Situations and sicknesses caused me to think about things differently than others. Paul reminds us in Philippians to look forward not constantly focusing on the past.

“No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead”

I understand what Paul is saying here, telling us not to constantly be looking in the rearview. There isn’t anything we can change about our past, but there are things that we can change about our present and future!

I can be thankful for each piece of my past because my past self isn’t who I am today. I am thankful for the pieces that left me hurt because God healed me. The pieces that left me lonely, only to find God in those moments. The pieces helped me to appreciate the man I met, married and made a life with. I’m grateful for my past.  At the moment I didn’t always see the joy, but now looking back, I see the bravery, courage, and joy in those times. 

I see that God didn’t let me stay put in my ways, He so graciously changed me. He didn’t hold my sins and mistakes over me, I was the one who continued to carry them along the journey. He brought me through trials and bad relationships so that I could appreciate the good ones, and I could be thankful for the things that I have. 

Today can you look back and see that your past doesn’t define you any longer but helped to refine you into the person you are today? I can. I can see God’s hand in my past, leading me safely through each night as I walked to my apartment alone, or through the dates that could have ended badly. He was always right there with me. He was holding me when I passed out and we didn’t know why. He was with me through the medical tests, the school exams, the hard conversations. He held me every day, in His loving arms. 

Eventually, I found what I had been chasing, but it wasn’t success. It was God. I didn’t know that’s what I was missing in my life, but God didn’t give up on me. I’m grateful that God was at work in me all those years and still is today. Each day I strive to be a better version of myself from yesterday, not focusing on my past mistakes but looking towards the future.

1. Is there something you need to let go of from your past, to move forward?
2. Are you carrying a past mistake or sin that you need to ask God for forgiveness?
3. How can I pray for you this week?