When We Release Our Kids to God

Stacey Pardoe joins us this week to share how she learned to release her kids to God as well as our teenagers and adult children. Being a parent never stops.

Releasing Our Children to God

Not long ago, our child came home from school and handed me an envelope.  I curiously opened it, and as I read the contents of the letter inside, I felt like I’d been punched in the gut.  I’m failing as a mom, I thought.  What do I need to do to fix this?

Perhaps you’ve experienced a similar moment.  If you’re a parent, you’ve probably received at least one phone call, email, report card, or letter that sucked the air from your lungs and led you to question whether you’d failed your child.  

These moments elicit a variety of different responses.  Sometimes, we ignore the issues, numb ourselves, withdraw, or fill ourselves with worldly comforts to escape the distress.  At other times, we ask the same question I asked when I received the note from my child’s school:  How can I fix this?

We have good intentions, taking our God-given callings as mothers seriously.  We don’t want our kids to struggle or suffer.

Meanwhile, God offers a different invitation.  He invites us to release our children to Him, remembering that we are called to do our best to support and love them while ultimately placing their lives in His trustworthy hands.

Let’s consider what this might look like for children of different ages.

Releasing Our Young Children to God

When our children were young, I was especially preoccupied with protecting them from danger of all sorts.  This included illnesses, accidents, and all situations that could potentially harm them.

I worried about everything from car accidents to life-threatening diseases.

One winter afternoon, my husband took our oldest two children shopping.  I was at home, pregnant with our third child, and I couldn’t shake the fear that they were going to get into a horrible car accident.  

After hours of worrying, I sensed a gentle impression from the Lord.  I sensed Him asking me if I trusted Him with their lives.

“Of course I trust you, God,” I whispered.

I then realized that I’d been stressing out over their perilous deaths for hours.  It seemed that I wasn’t trusting God after all.  

God began leading me on a journey of relinquishing their lives into His hands.  Instead of worrying about accidents of all sorts, I am learning to pray the following prayer: “God, I trust that all the days ordained for our children’s lives are already written.  Please help me trust in your plans.”

I’ve prayed this prayer countless times, reminding myself that God is in control.  Our children are given to us to love and care for, but their days are ultimately in God’s hands.  This is true for young children and children of all ages.  God is trustworthy, and He will fulfill his purpose for our kids.

Releasing Our Teenagers to God

We are just entering the teen years with our oldest child.  As we begin this journey, I’ve been asking God to help me release our kids to Him all over again.

We’re called to do our best to guide and support our teenagers, but many of their decisions are not ours to control.  At times, they will make mistakes and learn life’s lessons the hard way.  Meanwhile, we are repeatedly releasing our teenagers to God, reminding ourselves that their decisions are not ours to control.

Their failures don’t define us, and we cannot claim their successes either.

We are not called to remove all of the obstacles in front of them.

We are merely called to stand beside them when life is tough and when life is going well.  

Releasing Our Adult Children to God

 I don’t yet have adult children; however, my parents have taught me a great deal about how to release our adult children to the Lord.

Here are a few of the lessons I’ve learned from my mom and dad:

We should never deprive our children of much-needed rock-bottom experiences because rock-bottom is often where change finally begins.

The problems faced by our adult children—involving marriage, jobs, finances, children, and more—are not ours to fix or control.  We are called to support and love our kids, but we cannot fix every troubled situation in their lives.

We can trust God to fulfill His plans for our adult children.

Resisting the Urge to Control Our Children

As for the paper that came home from school, I asked God to show me my role.  My role looked like contacting the school and making sure our child’s needs were being met.  However, my role did not include micromanaging the situation or claiming full responsibility for our child’s academic journey.

I have not arrived in this realm of releasing my kids to God.

I sense it will be a lifelong process.

Nevertheless, every time I let go and surrender them to God all over again, He assures me that He is fully capable of fulfilling His plans for each of them.  

Meet Stacey

Stacey Pardoe spends her days exploring wild places with her three children, cleaning up messes, and writing words in the fringe hours.  She lives in western Pennsylvania, where she is a wife, mentor, and teacher with a master’s degree in education.  She writes weekly at staceypardoe.com.  Stacey and her 13-year-old daughter, Bekah, are coauthors of a one-of-a-kind mother-daughter devotional called Girl to Girl: 60 Devotions for a Closer Relationship and Deeper Faith.

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