“I’m sorry but it’s over. I can’t take the pressure anymore. You put so many expectations on me, it’s just too much. So I think it’s best that we just end things, I’m breaking up with you.”
“What? No! Don’t you want a happily ever after? How will it be okay if it’s not perfect with the matching outfits, matching pajamas, and magazine-worthy decorations including freshly baked cookies and handmade ornaments? What will your friends think? What will your mother-in-law say? I can’t believe you want to break up, you are failing everyone. You are breaking up with me because you can’t cut it.”
I’m breaking up with a perfect Christmas. I’m not allowing myself to be sucked back into the craziness that the world culture pushes on us, and pressures us to have this perfect Christmas.
On that first Christmas, Mary didn’t have a picture-perfect day. I don’t think her dream was to be a teenage mom having a baby in a stable, after a hot dusty journey to Bethlehem for a census, because there were no rooms for her and her betrothed.
How often during the Christmas season are we the innkeeper? There’s no room here for you Jesus – we have too much to do, too many people to please, too many gifts to buy, make, and wrap, and too much pressure for it to be perfect. In trying to make it perfect we often miss the mark altogether. We miss out on Jesus. We miss out on making room for Him in our hearts and lives. So this year, I am breaking up with the idea of “perfect”. It’s time to celebrate the REAL meaning – welcoming Jesus and celebrating the birth of our Savior!
Here’s my plan:
- I’m going to be more like Mary – pondering things (meaningful, good things) in my heart “But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.” (Luke 2:19 NIV). Mary didn’t tell the world what was going on in her life or about an angel visiting her. Instead, she pondered these things in her heart. I think it is time for a heart inventory. I want to make room for Jesus, so I’ll table all the unnecessary things and work on any unresolved things. Maybe the unkind comments from a well-meaning family member can be overlooked, instead of responding to them with a quip about praying for them and me.
- Accepting that my house doesn’t have to be perfectly decorated. Jesus’ birth wasn’t perfect but it worked. There were no crazy decorations that year, instead, he was born into a loving home. Christmas will still be Christmas even without all the fluff.
- Be in the moment. Instead of worrying about frivolous things, I plan to be in the moment with my loved ones. Enjoy the time with your people, they won’t always be there and we will never get the time back. Stay the extra five minutes and love on the ones you don’t see as often and even those you do!
- Be like the magi bringing meaningful gifts. Our children don’t need everything on their list. Yes, I’ve been there and done that, and I have the pictures to prove it. I’ve bought every last toy on his list and overspent. I’ve also spent what I budgeted and chose things that were meaningful or wanted by each person and Christmas wasn’t ruined!
- Don’t let ANYONE steal my joy. We are celebrating our Savior’s birth. If a particular situation or person steals your joy – stop and assess what is happening. Are you tired? Hungry? Emotional? Don’t allow someone else to take away your JOY! People are people and they will hurt our feelings – it always seems to be the same ones who do it every time. How we react shows them we are filled with the Holy Spirit!
- Pick a few things to do. For years we ran from event to event and all of us were grumpy. We weren’t kind to one another, much less the people we were visiting. We started limiting the events we attend and it’s made us all enjoy the holidays more. Around Thanksgiving each year we start planning our must-dos, which include certain family events, light shows, and performances and what baking we will do. A must for my son is making cookies with his Grandma, that’s something they both enjoy and it is their special time. We are each picking a few things that are must-dos, and that’s what we will do. Everybody gets a say in the list. Why wear yourself thin in creating the “perfect” Christmas when you are only going to be miserable?
- Allow yourself to rest too. Some of my favorite memories from Christmases past are of the three of us on the floor of our living room, having a pizza picnic, and watching a Christmas movie in front of the Christmas tree. It’s an enjoyable, relaxing evening for everyone.
Your kids don’t care about matching pajamas or matching outfits. Let’s face it – they would much rather have a mom who isn’t stressed and yelling at everyone, than “perfect”. So that’s why, my friend, I’m breaking up with a “perfect Christmas.”
Will you join me this Christmas in breaking up with the perfect and joining the peaceful?
Beautifully Written!
Thank you Kim!❤️ I hope that you have a blessed Christmas season!