Katerina shares her moving story of finding beauty in the pain despite life’s challenges.
In my early teenage years, the lies surrounded the darkest nights. I would lie awake, struggling to fall asleep. It felt like God was quiet. And even as I attended church, nothing could break the chaos and noise. I just wanted peace and silence.
I remember when I started believing these lies about myself. It wasn’t necessarily something that was said to me. But I internalized some hurt, and the enemy twisted it into these lies. But I believed for years that they were true. I went through some difficult seasons in my teenage years. Instead of finding healthy ways to cope, I kept it all buried and struggled with depression. There was some guilt and shame that left me feeling insecure. I wasn’t confident in my identity and who I was. Even as I grew up believing in God and accepted the Lord at a young age.
Struggles
As someone who is naturally quiet, I internalized many struggles. I didn’t see myself as beautiful or loved. I fell into deep despair, and part of the depression has still carried into my mid-twenties. Some of the pain is physical due to a neuromuscular disease. It’s progressive, and over time, the affected muscles are going to atrophy. I didn’t know until I was 17. More lies came to the surface. I’m broken; I’m sick. I’m weak. And there are moments it feels like it’s not getting better.
What I have learned is how the enemy can twist words and thoughts, manipulating us into believing them to be true. And if you are hard on yourself for not being strong enough, then it just leads to more pain. Even as Christians, we can still fall into this trap. But I encourage you not to let the enemy take hold of your joy. Hold onto the hope found in Jesus. There is light in the darkness.
Beauty In the Pain
The world feels empty and painful. But through the grace, mercy, and love of the Lord, there is strength to continue. I don’t want to believe these lies anymore. The ones that say I’m not good enough or loved. I want to listen to who God says I am. So I surrender all of this hurt, pain, and guilt I have carried. It may be hard, but I want to remember the truth. The Lord hasn’t forgotten me.
Prayer:
God, I surrender to you the negative thoughts and lies I have believed about myself. I know they do not come from you. It’s just noise from the enemy that wants me to fall more deeply into despair and shame. I have wrestled with these thoughts for far too long. I can’t do it anymore. Please help me see your truth. I know your truth outshines the darkness. Thank you for sending Jesus. Because of His sacrifice, I am free. In Jesus’ name, Amen
Scripture to Encourage You to Find Beauty in the Pain
“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” John 1:5
“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18
Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6
Meet Katerina:
Katerina is a dancer, instructor, and writer from California. She has a B.A. in psychology and is passionate about advocating and encouraging those living with chronic illnesses and disabilities. She enjoys embroidery, spending time with friends, and being outdoors. You can connect with Katerina through her blog and on Instagram.
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Hope in the Healing: A 40-Day Journey Through Chronic Illness
Hope in the Healing: A 40-Day Devotional Journey Through Chronic Illness
Find strength for today and hope for tomorrow with this compassionate 40-day devotional designed for those navigating the physical, emotional, and spiritual challenges of chronic illness. Hope in the Healing offers gentle encouragement, Scripture-based reflections, and space to connect with God—even on the hardest days.
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